It's only a season...

Many times in life my father has told me, "It's only a season." He said this as a teen when I was sad over a boy. He said this when I was in college and stressed out over homework and grades. He said this when I moved to Arizona on a whim in my early 20's and changed my mind. He said this when I was indecisive over changing college majors. He said this when my son was diagnosed with autism and again when my daughter was. He said this many times over the years when I experienced difficult times in life, money, family and other troubles. 

Great advice that I didn't always receive well. There were moments when it angered me as much as the phrases, "God only gives you what you can handle," "it's all relative" or "it could be worse." 

I had a moment today on my drive home where for the first time in my almost 39 years where I said this phrase to myself. This has been a tough week at our house. We received some news about our children's progress and placement change. We have had some financial issues that require attention and a few more things that make the phrase, "when it rains it pours" sadly applicable. 

I am sad. My husband is sad. I have been crying off and on for a few days now. I need this down time. I deserve this down time. I never truly grieved when our children were diagnosed. I was upset, but was immediately hoisted into the drivers seat to blaze our trail. I did it with gusto and don't have any regrets, but now is a time when I (we) need to regroup. 

We didn't chose autism, but we made the decision to take on the therapies, driving and all the effort it takes to ensure the best for our children. We could settle for less as it would be so much easier, but that has never been an option for my husband and I. We will drive anywhere and jump through any hoops necessary if it helps our children. I am not willing to put effort into therapies, schools or strategies that don't yield success, but this next phase in life is a good option. It is just change that has an enormous impact on every aspect of our lives.  I am sad my son needs to take a step back to maximize his learning, but it is okay. I want him to be as strong and happy as he can no matter where that level is. As for my daughter, this is a good change for her as well. I am grateful for a program that can meet both of their needs and individualize strategies to cater to each of their strengths. 

This change is going to present some huge challenges and I doubt I am done crying. This will be a test for our family. I guess I need to remember those words my father will certainly say when I tell him what is going on, "It's only a season." Maybe I should do my best to shift my emotion from sadness and frustration to relief and perhaps happiness if we weather the storm when it is over. 

I think it may be time for me to try and embrace the concept I have heard a million times, "It is only a season." This is just a shift, not a big move. I don't need to be the annoying voice saying, "there is always a silver lining," but I think it is time to look at this as a "season". I don't know if I need my umbrella or snow boots, but I am in. Totally and completely in. Let the adventure begin!