I'M MAYOR OF THIS TOWN!

"I'M MAYOR OF THIS TOWN!"

I will never forget the first time those words came out of my mouth. It was about 4 years ago when we were doing at home ABA with Little pants and I was having a disagreement with our lead therapist over finding some balance with ABA and keeping her in the ECSE placement part time. I was confident that she needed both and they could be successful as long as I was facilitating the communication between the two and making sure they supplemented one another. The school was ready to serve and was recommending more days of class. The lead ABA therapist was hell bent on only participating in their programming. Both sides forgot that we still had private occupational and speech therapy, but both sides were truly rooting for my daughter. They just forgot that sometimes there is more than one party involved. As a teacher, I see this happen a lot. No one side is bad. It just boils down to philosophical differences.

"I AM MAYOR OF THIS TOWN!" I screamed over the phone to the lead therapist when I was explaining why this was the road we WERE in fact going to take. Seriously, was I going to listen to someone question my parenting choices and tell me how to educate and treat my child's autism? Was I going to listen to this head strong therapist, who wasn't even a parent (nevertheless a parent of a child with autism), tell me that maybe my parenting styles just don't match my child's needs?

Hell no! I AM MAYOR OF THIS TOWN!

To make this long story short, I took the issue to the clinical supervisors who were happy to listen to how I wanted to do things and at the end of the day we kept Little pants in her school program. Her ECSE teacher and speech therapist came to my house to observe therapy (and brought me a Starbucks!). Both sides were curious of what the other was teaching and at the end of the day it worked out. I only kept her in ECSE programming for a couple years and I have no regrets. We now have a combination of ABA, speech therapy, occupational therapy and education all in one through the ABA therapy program. We chose to take both of our children with autism out of the public school system for a variety of reasons, but that is another blog all together.

I think that the relationship between the public school system and ABA service providers has improved some over the years, but back then there were some individuals on both ends that just couldn't see the forest through the trees about why an eclectic approach was best for my little girl.  They both just didn't completely understand what the other was about and how they can benefit children. I get it, ABA isn't what you do at school and vise versa. I have heard it a million times and by the way, I was an ABA therapist in college and a special education teacher by trade. Sheesh- if anyone gets it, I am pretty sure I do! I really think the push from the lead therapist at the time was coming out of ignorance for what the school was actually providing. I really don't think that the two half days a week I was planning on keep my daughter at school was going to inhibit any progress in ABA. At the end of the day I was right! Little pants flourished in both settings.

Here's the thing- autism is a spectrum disorder, so why wouldn't I utilize a spectrum of therapies to treat the issues?

I would like to point out that this was one small hiccup with the ABA service provider we have. They are AMAZING and I am grateful for everything they have done. This error was on behalf of the individual therapist only and she no longer works for their organization.

I have always been comfortable standing up for what I think is right and have never feared trying new things. Advocating for my children is no different, but when the going gets tough and you are in those first years of diagnosis and early intervention, one's confidence can be low. The combination of grief and mommy guilt can wear on even the most confident of souls.

What I have learned from this is simple- I know what is best for my kiddos. I don't need to follow the same path as other parents or do what everyone else suggests. I have my own instincts that make me a very formidable mayor and I will scream it at the top of my lungs any time I need to do so.

I AM MAYOR OF THIS TOWN! Don't question the choices I make for my children or suggest I do it any other way. No one knows what is best for them as much as I do. You can be an expert on anything you want, but don't you dare tell me you are an expert on my children.

Disclaimer- my husband has had an equal voice and we have always agreed. He just isn't as vocal. :)